FarOut! Japan » Eatables

Heavy metal

TokyoLocal — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 09:00:18 +0000

What do you want?

St. Valentine’s National Chocolate day.

TokyoLocal — Sat, 14 Feb 2015 09:00:17 +0000

That is the what’s up today.

Make no mistake about it.

Feb 14th, female gives chocolate to their desired male.

That is absolute rule in Japan.

The guy cannot say to the girl

“Be my valentine.”

Girl power!

Oh, we’ve got this “white day.”

Fucking the boy with the chocolate needs to give the girls back a present of 3 times of the price.

McDonalds are going down…

TokyoLocal — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 09:00:14 +0000

Just like the Toyota bashing they do in the States by crashing into someone’s house with no brake, Japan started to bash McDonalds. McDonalds Japan has been searving some shitty food for almost half century in Japan, and for the first time ever, Japanese media are fussing about how shitty the foods are! They are basically saying that there were peice of prastic found in the chicken nuggets, but I mean, they could have told you that 20 years ago!! Something is behind all these and no one is protecting McDonalds anymore, who was national baseball symbol for the team Japan of World Baseball Cowfuck in 2009.

Yum Yum Sperm

TokyoLocal — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 09:00:19 +0000

We eat tons of weird shit. We make them all into sushi.

Here’s another one far out. Fish sperm.

Fuck it’s yummy on your tammy, make your sperm count fucking high and give your nightly activity a kick! It taste so….thick. Which I think is pretty sick….

Rice fuckers

TokyoLocal — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 09:00:03 +0000

So, another one died today from eating the deadly wepon called “the rice.”

Don’t mess with rice.

It could kill you.

We, Japanese, fuck so much with rice.

Japanese rices are usually called “the sticky rice.” It is true. We like it extra sticky when wet. We even have these degree of stickiness. It’s not only “sticky Japanese rice.” It’s like French wine. We have this kind that kind all that kind.

So, these guys talk about which kind of rice is good, bad, I can taste slight sweetness in this rice, I think this rice is little bit bitter. smell of the rice is sexy, just like the goddess coming from the Mt. Fuji…and all that bull shit to make them self look like they know shit. Again, it just like the wine fuckers who thinks being drunk is somewhat genius.

Anyways.

As the 550 bento box is not enough, the new years in Japan has been decided to practice eating the stickiest rice. They make this snow ballish rice ball with the stickiest rice ever. The rice is so sticky that it’d cover your mouth with joy of stickiness.

The joy of stickiness is so strong that it’d make you forget that it’s killing 1000 plus the Japanese nationals every new years.

The joy of stickiness is so strong that it’d make you forget that the stickiness of the rice somewhat choke you up and killed your friend last year.

The joy of stickiness is so strong that it’d make you forget that you are dead.

Don’t mess with rice.

It could kill you.

Frozen 500 USD bento box

TokyoLocal — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 09:00:47 +0000

Osechi bento box here 550USD with 10% tax.

The original idea of the box was to make sure not to give your wife a break in the winter holiday, by not giving them the job called feeding.

So that we eat this freezing cold food in the freezing cold room to testify our survival skill for a few days. Yes. a more people dies in the winter than the summer. The extreme heat might make feel like you dying, but it will not kill you unless you decide not to drink some water like those extreme sport victims. Whereas extreme cold certainly is capable of killing all of you freaking UFC ass.

What is so sad is this.

Even though this osechi bento box is a god damn art work, it doesn’t taste that dynamite. It also will not fill your tumtum as the dynamite otherwise could… I mean it may be dynamite enough for some people, but, it certainly was not enough for those dead. Because I tell you what. We will have these dead bodies reported tomorrow. Come again tomorrow to hear me out! Osechi is not enough.

The deadly food is the soup with 700 calories. It killed more than 1300 heads in the last year day, which is much more than blow fish suicidal tendencies. Again, I will make sure to report you how many dies tomorrow.

All I want to say is this 550 box is not enough!

People are dying!!

You see, 550 is not good enough to holding your self up to avoid the killer food from killing you.

You die or you be skinny. Misterious Japan.

National noodle day

TokyoLocal — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 09:00:11 +0000

Today is the national noodle day. Everyone eat the noodle. You see, it has been a few week of this blog and I don’t know how may propaganda days we’ve got so far, but this is the money date for the noodles. Of cause the media does this and that as this is the prime time to increase the viewership, in Japan, it also is the noodle day.

While I might talk shit about how fucked TV is in Japan on December 31, noodle is so far out there. The noodle is called Soba noodle and many of us have allergies. It could be the killing food weapon. Japanese hospitals are extra busy today.

But, what Japanese love is to die eating.

Well, the hospital will be busier in the next few days as the deadly foods killing us.

Many of us dies around this time.

Stay tune.

I might be dead soon.

Cake after cake

TokyoLocal — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 09:00:20 +0000

So we’ve got so many left over cakes everywhere for discounted price.

You might see a day old this and day old that around your house, but Japanese are not like that. I mean most of the time… Not today! The day old cakes are everywhere just like the food industry thought they can win against the idea of the FuckMass.

Sex is stronger than the food, apparently.

How to order fresh pussy at the sushi restaurant

TokyoLocal — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 09:00:01 +0000

OK. You tell me what’s up.

This is the shell fish called Akagai. It’s in the sushi style.

I remember when I was 12. It was about the age of me starting to become sexually aware. Some become aware earlier than that, some later, but, that is not the point.

Some 12 years old totally sexually advanced dudes are telling me the Akagai look like the vagina. We all knew what Akagai was, as it was such a common sushi piece. Big deal. Back then, I did not know enough. I could not get my dick hard by eating it. Today, I know a little more. I still cannot get my dick hard by eating them.

Of course if you find yourself on cheap ass conveyor belt sushi place like I do, you might get the pussy don’t even look like a pussy. But, that’s everywhere too.

Once again, this what you can get, if you were lucky you get better one than I got today. Akagai.

Ok, just make sure not to laugh when you order it. Once again, make sure to separate the rhythm in 8th note, like – A, Ka, Ga, I. Any sushi restaurant should have it.

Guys, have fun. In Japan, it’s every day thing that you can eat the fresh pussy. FarOut shit is next to you.

Deadly delicious

TokyoLocal — Mon, 15 Dec 2014 09:46:11 +0000

So, it is the blowfish season and I got this sent from my relative in Yamaguchi prefecture, relatively south part of Japan.

It is supposed to be preciously delicious that you supposed to risk your life to eat them. Yes. We do hear the occasional news about the redneck wanna be fisher dude scoring the blowfish, decide to go wild by fuck up cutting them and ends up killing his family.

And…you know what? It doesn’t taste that precious. It’s one of those things like, “Free Jazz”, “Avant Art” or “100 year old wine” that you are supposed to understand, but don’t.

You pretty much need to dip into the vinegarish soy source, otherwise it has no taste whatsoever.

If the price of foods were only decided by how good it taste, a banana would be pricier than the blowfish.

Having to said it, I am about to eat the blowfish.

If I am not here to talk shit tomorrow, you can suppose I am dead by then.

Bye world.